fei

I started listening to faye again recently. While her flawless music has always been good company, they tend to make me feel nostalgic. Do i miss being in a relationship with someone? Despite my active social life, some things may not be so easily replacable after all. Why am i always so vulnerable to matters of the heart. I need to learn to move on.....

 

jennifer

Met Jennifer, Ken and Tetsu for brunch at Cha-An in the East Village. Subtle peaceful tea house in my favourite neighbourhood, sinful japanese deserts, interesting conversations on closeted celebrities! I love Jen! I adore women who are open-minded and knows how to appreciate what our community has to offer. Plus she loves New York and my biceps!

 

shabu shabu

Pre-Chinese New Year Reunion shabu shabu at Yakiniku Juju. When and why did repos and reverse repos came into our conversation for almost half hour?? Argh...New Yorkers think about work too much!

 

dog

My mum knows i love pineapple cookies back from Asia, so she made some and send them to me for Chinese New Year, along with my red packet of course. Its such a warm feeling to receive blessings from your family, especially when you are 10,000 miles away. I missed Asia, and this year i especially missed my family. I wish i can spend more time chatting with my mum on the phone. Why am i so lazy??? I need to do something about this!

 

xing

Was at Xing at Hells Kitchen tonite with former bosses and current buddies Jesse and Cheng. Tiger beer, modern Chinese, desert wine and of course some catching up on our lifes. Is HK the new Chelsea?

 

fallen

I have a horrible bruise on my right knee from a fall while riding last Sunday. Have been limping all over ever since. Emotional + Physical pain goes well together. Excellant! Bring it on Baby!

 

vynl

Vynl in Hells Kitchen. Is HK the new Chelsea? 

downtown

I rarely go downtown. Today after dim sum at Jing Fong in Chinatown, its a good excuse to take a walk in the fine weather with friends to Century 21 to pick up some discounted Calvin undies.

 

weekend breakfast

The 24-hour MacDonald on 34th and 10th has recently been my hangout place on weekend early mornings. So has it been for many New York cab drivers. I love the far west of New York; aka my neighbourhood. Its still largely unspoiled, industralized, raw and unpretendious. I wonder how long this can remain, hopefully longer now since plans for the west side stadium has been scrapped for good.

Tried to get myself drunk last nite, but the 3 Coronas did not help, neither did being in a trashy club somewhere in midtown. If i had really fallen, i can't wait to get back on my feet. Something is wrong with me these few days and i can't really figure out why.....

 

sleepless in new york

For the past few nights, i have been relying on sleep aids to get to sleep. Sadly, my mind has been saturated with work thoughts. It seems that i have a problem with being firm or 'nasty' when dealing with incompetencies; i always feel bad when i have to be a bitch sometimes, just to get my point across. Maybe the real problem is that i have been subconsciously setting a certain standard for myself, and inevitably have been raising that standard again and again. I think i have push myself too hard. I hate to admit this, i have became kinda a perfectionist........I can't even remember the last time i actually have problems sleeping due to work related stress...

Maybe i am depressed after all. I realized i lost motivation to seek any leisure (including joining colleagues for drinks) after work. This week has been largely non-eventful. Work, home, porn, sleep....i think i miss my parents. Its gonna be Chinese New Year soon. Maybe i am lonely..........Maybe i am born with it, Maybe its Maybelline....

 

below the surface, we are all raw

How true.

razor

Received a surprise gift yesterday. A Motorola razer v3 black. I have been having a very frustrating time with my Nokia 6230 for the longest time, so i am very very pleased, and at the same time felt very very lucky to have such a friend.......

 

snowboard

Bought my snowboard at Hunter Mountain yesterday. The salesperson was really nice and friendly and gave me a pretty good package discount and some freebies! My board is blue, my favourite colour! Now i will have to try to master my turns on the steep slopes....

I experienced the worse riding conditions ever yesterday in the mountains. The rain the day before washed away the snow, leaving bare grounds on the slopes. The temperature dropped suddenly to a super freezing level, and combined with very strong winds and irritating snow machines blowing man-made snow onto you made riding a not too pleasant experience. When i got back home, i felt totally exhausted from the weather even though i did not even do too many runs.

 

email

"......I respect you for that. You have taught me many things. You have shown me what it is to be truly fabulous and have things to back that up. You have shown me what it meant to be important and how important that importance is......Thanks for making me better and aspiring me to be successful. Thanks for encouraging and supporting me even when I constantly compare myself with the likes of Carlo and Alain and so on. My standards are of my own and of my own, I will carve my own success. Thanks for being a friend, a sister, a mentor and most of all, thanks for being you. I will always have you in my heart....."

Once in while, you will receive an email from someone who appreciates you for being just yourself and standing by them. If your presence can make a person feel better during his darkness moments, dun you think that's such a beautiful feeling?

easy as life

All I have to do
Is forget how much I love him
All I have to do
Is put my longing to one side
Tell myself that love’s an ever changing situation
Passion would have cooled, and all the magic would have died
It’s easy as life
I try to forget how much I want him here
Let my tears slowly disappear
I cannot forget that my emotions die
Oh I don’t even want to try
Nothing in life is ever easy
Nothing in love will ever run true
My heart will never stop believing
I still believe in what love can do
All I have to do
Is pretend I never knew you
On those very rare occasions
When you steal into my heart
Better to have lost you
When the ties were barely binding
Better the contempt
Of the familiar cannot stop
It’s easy as life
I try to forget how much I want him here
Then my dreams slowly disappear
I cannot forget that my emotions die
Oh I don’t even want to try
Nothing in life is ever easy
Nothing in love will ever run true
My heart will never stop believing
I still believe in what love can do
It hurts to think about you
When I want to touch you
And how we would have been
If you were here with me today
Those very rare occasions
They keep on coming
All I ever wanted
I’m throwing it away

home

I can't even remember the last time i stayed home during a weekend Sunday, especially when it's a beautiful one. No waking up early to go snowboarding, no volleyball at the upper west side, no swimming at Equinox, no brunch with friends.... Today, it's just waking up to breakfast from MacDonald, cleaning up my apartment, watching LOST, and trying to read the huge stack of TIME that has been collecting dust on my desk......Chill chill....can't wait for the long weekend coming up...

 

birth

Eric's birthday day party. They say New York is an expensive city. But if you know where to go to at the Lower East Side, $4 martinis and manhattans are not unheard of.

 

thanks for the friendship

Julian is leaving New York. Had dinner at Le Singe Vert in Chelsea followed by Cosmos at G. Thanks for the friendship during my most 'confused' moments. I tried my best, it just never happen after all. I wish you all the best. I believe we will cross path again!

saints at large

Sunday nite, first day of 2006. I got back after 2 nites in the mountains, exhausted from snowboarding and all ready to crash when 8 divas descend to my tiny apartment in upper Chelsea to drag me to Saint at Large. These are my saints, my saviours. It's as though they knew when they need to appear to cheer me up.

"New York New York". Recently while watching a multi-repeated episode of Sex and the City on TBS (again!!), Carrie exclaimed these words when Mr. Big decides to leave for California. Over the last few months, I can't believe i had actually pondered so long and so much on whether i should leave this city to pursue someone i thought i knew but in fact barely knew. While that hope has falter, i believe the new year will present new opportunities. Though disappointed and slightly down, i am excited on what the future may be. After all, i am fabulous! Just like Carrie. And i can't believe i nearly left New York. Silly me.

 

the edge

Snowboarding is all about finding and maintaining the edge on the slope. You have spilt seconds to decide if you want to lean back, lean forward, stand upright or freak out and fall off as you gain speed and descend down. Just like life, you need to gain control and achieve balance. Who says this is meant to be easy? Snowboarding is a tough sport to master, u need tons of guts and an appetitie to be able to absorb pain and not give in. As for life, can we ever master it?

 

white new year

Welcomed 2006 with Tammy and Valerie in New York, but out in the Windham Mountains. Duplex country style lodge, dinner at a restaurant with warm fireplace, snowflakes and snowboarding, fireworks displays, champagne and a hilarous game called Taboo. It's been such a pleasant experience. Seriously, who needs to party and get drunk???

winter in the park

Henry, Mary, Kiki, Me, Julia and Fan went for a walk in Central Park on Friday, after ditching our plans to go ice skating when we saw the long long line....